I'm Dreaming of a Dark Christmas

 So my friend was telling me about her neighbor's blinding bright Christmas lights. (Some people have a lil' too much Chevy Chase in 'em)...
 And she doesn't get along with this particular neighbor. Those ridiculously gawdy lights burn ever brightly from across the street. She has to close her curtains to ignore their brilliance.
 Me: "Why do people invest in all those lights anyway? They pay for them, put them up, and sit in the house, where the view of them is greatly diminished. They seem to go to alot of effort to impress outsiders."
 She: "I don't like the guy in that house."
 Me: "Hmm. So, where is this coming from?"
 She: "I'd like to unplug them."
 Me: "His lights?"
 She: "Yes. He's mean."
 Me: "What did he do?"
 She: "He made my daughter cry on Halloween. I told him to stay on his side of the street. (Pause) I'd like to go over and unplug his Christmas lights before they blind a pilot flying overhead."
 She went on to tell me the Mean Neighbor Guy's 8-old-daughter, on that fateful Halloween night, saw her walking toward their house, smoke coming out of her ears.
 "Look out, dad!" the little girl said, darting behind her confused father. The poor guy got an earful, as witnessed by my friends' daughter across the street. At least, it was a presumed earful. Her daughter reported only being able to see her mom's hand waiving and head weaving.
 Waiving, weaving, back and forth, up and down, until the poor ol' mean guy shrank into the safety of his house and hid behind his 8-year-old.
 "And stay on your side of the street!" my friend bellowed over her shoulder as she walked back to her house. Better not cross her again, Mr. Bright Lights.
 I can just see it now; a lineup of little blonde housewives down at the county jail. The mean neighbor guy rubs his eyes, staring closely, carefully eyeing each face on the other side of the two way mirror. His eyes light up as he points wildly. "That's her, officer. Second from the end on the left!"
 Cop: "You're absolutely certain?"
 Mean Neighbor Guy: "I'd know her face anywhere. It was illuminated by tens of thousands of Christmas lights just before the blackout."
 Cop: "What do you mean, the blackout?"
 MNG: "She deliberately walked across the street, entered my yard, and unplugged my lights."
 The cops shakes his head, sorry he has to fill out such trivial paperwork.
 Perhaps the mean neighbor guy should thank my friend for saving him a ton on his electric bill.