Christmas Eve

This is the first year apart from my family on Christmas. The boys and Shannon are in Chicago, and I am alone. No tree. No stockings. No music.
But in my mind, I picture them resting with visions of sugar plums in their heads. My wife has left me, but I am with her in my mind. Holidays can be "hollow days" without the family. They are my reasons for the celebration. Nothing else seems to matter much. Being left behind in a dark, quiet trailer isn't my idea of Christmas.
I sure wish I had a story to read to my boys before tucking them in. I sure wish I could slide in next to my wife tonight.
I sure wish I could wake to the excitement of Christmas with them.
In my mind, that's where I am tonight.

Does Time Heal All Wounds?

I am startled at how easily I can cry. Christmas music is everywhere this time of year. It makes me incredibly sad. I miss being with my family. I miss watching "Rudolph" and "The Grinch" and "Frosty the Snowman" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "The Little Drummer Boy" with my kids. All the classics I grew up watching.
My wife set up the tree and decorated it without me this year. Our annual family tradition didn't include Dad.
I don't have a tree in the lonely single wide trailer.
I don't have any Christmas deocorations. Maybe I'm a Grinch, or a Scrooge. Or maybe, I'm just broken hearted that I can't have anyone to decorate for.
I miss my wife. I miss holding her hand. I miss how she used to throw one of her legs carelessly over mine while we watched TV.
God, I'd do anything to feel her leg on mine again!
You know that saying, "Time heals all wounds?" Well, it's not true.

"I miss how she used to throw one of her legs carelessly over mine..."