JCPenney, Sears...

...My job hunt continues. I feel like my buddy Darren, who told me at church tonight that his kids each got a deer in youth season, but he failed to bag the big one this year himself.
 Sears. Just past women's underwear, buried in the corner around the side. The door says "Human Resources". It's open. I walk in and ask about work to the lady at the desk.
 She rises and shows me where the computer kiosk is to apply. It is back in the main part of the store just before women's underwear.
 I have to look down at the screen since there is no chair and I am taller than the average applicant.
 I click on job titles. Can only choose one, so choose wisely!
 First choice, sales. Then I go to the next screen, and the red letter pop up with a message. NO SALES POSITIONS OPEN AT THIS LOCATION.
 I go back a screen and select MANAGEMENT.
 Same red letter message. Nothing available.
Go back and hit the next category. And the next, getting the same red letter message that no positions are open.
Every category is a strike out. No need to burden Sears with my work history. Next!
JCPenney's, here I come. Got to Penney's where I searched each quadrant of the second floor in my quest for the kiosk to apply. None found, I asked an employee (I hate to bother them with such trivial matters).
 Third floor, I was told. Hmm. Forgot they had one.
 I take the elevator to the third floor and, sure enough, a kiosk awaits. I enter the code, and listen to a short video of an executive explaining the benefits of working for JCPenney.
 I take a simple survey, and answer the questions, whether Strongly Agree, Somewhat Agree, Neither Agree Nor Disagree, Somewhat Disagree, or Strongly Disagree.
 Wonder if I passed the quiz?
 I may never know. But for now, I entered my information and click "Finish." My fate is in your hands, JCPenney. At least until tomorrow.