Cycle of Regret

Some choices are harder to live with than others. I've seen the results of poor choices --- up close, bloody and broken examples of the outcome of drinking and driving, speeding without a seatbelt, texting and driving, and on and on. Graphic images that visit me when I'm trying to sleep, or spend time with my son.  But the images from last week will haunt me for life.

 This is the first time I've been able to talk about it. Ever since my wife died in a car crash when Ethan was six,  I've been super concious of being careful. That's what propelled me to quit teaching school and become a paramedic. 

 Eric had been working about a year when I joined the ambulance crew. He gave me a hard time about being "by the book" and wondered why I never loosened up. I couldn't tell him my wife died as a  result of someone not paying attention.

 But now, well... after what happened last week, I think Eric will pay a lot of attention. He's a single dad too, now.

 His girlfriend, Rachel, was on the phone texting him the evening of the four car crash. She was in her third trimester and had begged Eric not to go in to work that day. She was determined to get him to talk about marrying her and settling down.

 Eric ignored her so long that her frustration grew. It got so bad she lost her presence of mind and drove head on into the other lane. Several other cars swerved, but were unable to avoid further collisions.

 Rachel died after two days of lingering in the hospital. I responded to the accident scene. I didn't know it was Eric's girlfriend. My partner, Joni, saw her first. We got her in a C-collar and put her on the board. Her water was broken and since we were about 25 miles from the nearest hospital, I called the medical helicopter.

 Rachel delivered Eric's baby girl within hours of the accident. He sat in shock and disbelief, holding his new child and wondering if the mother would live.

 I haven't had a chance to talk to Eric yet. Chief O'Reilly said he took a leave of absence. I kept trying to influence him to do the right thing and not take risks on the job.

 Below are some images from that awful day.

Jonie and other emergency workers help Rachel following a texting and driving accident.

I did all I could, but Rachel's life is still in the balance...

I don't know what to say to Eric. His poor choices had devastating results.