Mr. Gorilla

It's embarrassing. I mean, he follows me everywhere. I hope noboby notices him, but I suspect they do. It's in the little side glances I get. Or the whispered conversations that cease when I come within earshot.
I can't seem to shake him. He's with me 24/7, and I'm starting to panic. And I'm not a panicky type.
It wouldn't be so bad, but he's been... well, getting bigger lately. I mean, for the first few weeks, he wasn't such bad company. I actually enjoyed his antics. He could climb so high and so fast, I never knew he was around. Or he'd perch on my shoulder like Long John Silver's parrot. His fur would always tickle my ear, and make me laugh.
And his fur. It smelled so sweet. What happened?
I tried to bathe him. I did. I dragged him to the bathroom, but he spread his long arms and legs like a cat going into a barrel. He wouldn't get in the shower. Once, I sneeked up behind him and hoisted his furry, smelly body into the whirlpool tub. But the instant the water was on, he was out. I ran after him, tackling him near the living room. Oh, what a wrestling match ensued then! Books, papers, toys, DVDs flying about. I cursed him. I screamed at him to stop. But he kept laughing like a hyena. An ape gone ape, he was. I wanted to grab a stick and smack him on his self righteous head.
I began to cry. And I'm not a cryer. I sat on the floor and bawled like a baby. He stopped, two of my favorite DVDs in his grimy paws, looking at me. His face looked for a moment as if he had a twinge of regret. His eyes mirrored mine for a fleeting second. In that second, we were one. We were brothers, partners in this thing.
Then his eyes lost their reflection, and the madness ensued. He tore up the place, prancing about and not letting me touch him. He's strong, that gorilla. He's mean, too. So, he stunk up my house and I had to clean it up. Every bit of it before my wife came home. It took hours to undo what he did. I hoped she wouldn't notice the remnants of our scuffle.
When she got home, he was sleeping in her chair. Of all the places he could put his huge mass, he had to engulf her one and only favorite glider. The chair she rocked our sweet children to sleep in.
I saw the look she gave me. I wanted to talk to her about it, to explain how difficult is to live with a full grown gorilla with an attitude.
But she'd just tell me I shouldn't have gotten him in the first place. And, she'd be right.
She's always right. Just once, I'd like to be the one that's right. I'd like things to be right in my life. But now that I've got this... furry friend... well, things aren't ever gonna be the same.