Yep. I know it sounds pretty steep to plunk down 430 G's and expect a profit. But there's a sure fire way to do that. When Michael Jordan dies, he's gonna be a lot more valuable than he is right now.
Think of all the dead artists who are more valuable since their demise. How about the musicians? Elvis Presley made more money dead than alive, and news just came out that Michael Jackson made $275 million this year, more than all the other dead musicians combined. (Good thing he's not around to pay taxes on that!)
So, the Michael Jordan value is going to soar once the beloved basketball baron bites the big one.
So, my plan is to scrounge the money and buy the car... then wait 'til M.J. kicks it and sell the car for millions, having kept it in the garage until then, accumulating no more miles than it already has. It's worth the pain of coming up with $430,000 I don't have. I mean, I'm surprised more people aren't taking advantage of this obvious strategy.
But because I'm broke, I can't afford to wait years, perhaps decades, until the greatest basketball guru ever finally breathes his last. So, after begging, borrowing, or stealing the initial money for the car, I must also come up with an evil, perhaps elaborate, plot to off M.J. If I could just get someone to drop a piano on him when he's leaving a posh hotel, or perhaps find out where he lives and dig a deep pit just outside his privacy gate for him to fall into. I could cover him up with a backhoe before anyone would have time to grab the camera crews' attention.
A guy like Michael Jordan can't have that much personal security. Sure, he's rich, but he's big enough to protect himself. So, no need to worry about private bodyguards and such. Just wait for him in the marketplace and pop him. It would be worth the millions I'd get from the sale of his car once he's dead. I could even hire a few people to investigate how to find him. I could have one of his kids kidnapped and lure him to a dark alley where hired thugs do him in. The method doesn't really matter, as long as he dies while I have possession of his low miles Mercedes.
Just think, turning $430,000 into $5 million, for example... isn't that one of the best investments you've ever heard? And to think, all I have to do is come up with a measly $430,000 right away and kill Michael Jordan without anyone suspecting me, and then sell his Mercedes.
Simple plan, huh?
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