Saltine Soldier

 I am a stay-at-home dad (not by choice, but by miserable luck trying to find work.)
 One good thing about being home is bonding with my 17-month-old son. The little guy wakes up every morning from his crib across the hallway with a hearty, "Daaa?"
 I usually reply with a  "Daaa?" in daddy tone to his youthful soprano.
 He is thus inspired to reply with a fervent "Daa?" Or, if he's feeling chatty, a "Daa Daa?" for a double dose of daddy alliteration.
 He's kind of a picky eater, the terrific toddler is. Breakfast shall NOT include eggs (picks them out of his mouth and hands them back promptly) or cereal (unless soy milk is used--- he's allergic to the real thing).
 So, if I run out of yogurt or applesauce, for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, my sweet junior dumpling cake gets a cracker. He loves crackers. You could say he's, er, crackers for them. (Sorry, couldn't resist!)
 Anyway, when I take him to grandpa and grandma's  house nearby, he often gets a saltine cracker, the perfect square for the budding toothed boy to chomp on.
 My little saltine soldier loves the taste and texture of those crackers. I had him on my lap today and noticed his breath smelled of saltines.

 I tickled his tummy as he ate. He let out a contented giggle that grew more intense with each re-tickle (dad's can't resist a good thing when they start it, so we have to wear out the kids's tickle spot until it's no longer funny.) No matter how many tickles the tot endured, he always returned to his saltine cracker.
 Yessir, somebody's gotta eat all those crackers we buy. Lord knows they can't all go in the chili or hot soup. Face it, saltines are pretty plain. No romance in 'em. They're sick people food, for those getting over a stomach virus to test if they're ready for real food, along with a spot of 7up to settle the tummy.
 But for my little guy, the saltine presents a perfect anytime snack. Hey, that's why we buy crackers now. Not for soup. For the Saltine Soldier. He's way more entertaining cleaning up with the crackers than any other use for them would be.